blog archives


Dec 06
you hesitated when you say "i love you."
Tuesday, 2005-12-06 @ 10:41pm (996 days ago).

kinda how i feel right now. having kinda a bad day....and clearly im not needing this relationship right now....(and its for -----)

if anyone has any advice..i really cant be with him anymore..but i cant break up with him cause all my friends party at his house and i know i wont be welcome anymore...what should i do? like...fuck this shit lol...i should be happy right?
you have one thing to look forward to everyday. that one thing has been there for you everyday and tomorrow she won't.

i only meet broken girls. girls that need more than i can give. girls who will never be happy and would rather someone didn't care about them at all. they would rather live their days with whoever they are with at the time knowing nothing means anything. they don't want meaning in their life because they've never had it before. they think low of themselves no matter what you tell them. does what you say help them in anyway or does it not mean anything?

i cared more about you than i did about myself. i couldn't breathe and i was only worried about you. and you do this to me. you say hateful things about me somewhere i should have never read or at least you wanted it to be that way. we both wasted our time with each other. you gave me a false sense of security when i needed it the most. what you said must have meant nothing to you. you said it to make me feel good and you never meant it. how could you?

i wake up everyday and i think to myself, "why am i here." i thought it was to help you get through your troubles but you won't even let the person who cares about you more than anyone else ever has try to help you. you set yourself up for failure before you ever even try. and i'm crying yet again.

thank you for being there for me when i needed you the most but with the way things are now, i almost wish you had never been there at all. if one of us had to die it would have been me. your life still exists because i told you to wear your seatbelt while you ride with me. your fun was had because i provided you a place to have it. your friends had a place to sleep and a warm blanket to sleep with because i gave it. and now you don't even want to be with me. i put myself before you in my health. i came back to kent to be with you when i was told i should stay home. and you do this to me.

i don't even know what to say or think anymore. i never thought i had life figured out. i never thought i had things figured out with you and i never pretended to. but i never saw this coming. how many times should i have left you? how many times did i think it was going to go no where? was i right?

why did you give up when i should have been the one to give up?

i just hope it all meant something because i'm in the dark, alone.

fuck this life i was given. fuck it all. yet another reason to wonder, why am i here?

listening: Bright Eyes - False Advertising.
tomorrow: class and another day.

Comments

Tuesday, 2005-12-06 @ 11:24pm (996 days ago)

Steve

Steve's gravatar.


Mikey, I feel for you, man. That's not right of her to do. She obviously doesn't appreciate all the things you've done for her, such as keeping her alive. That is the model of an ungrateful person, and you don\'t need that in your situation right now. You just need to worry about yourself. Your selflessness is the most positive intangible you have, but right now you have to worry about yourself. Make a commitment to yourself. Get yourself healed, get back in the swing of things, and don't take no for an answer. Whatever it takes. Do that, and your ribs and hip will thank you by healing quickly. I'm not trying to lecture or anything, but I fucking hate seeing you in so much pain. I fucking hate it, I really do. You know I'm always here for you, man. If you need anything at all, let me know.

-The Volskdaddy

Wednesday, 2005-12-07 @ 12:51am (996 days ago)

tiffany ..hahahha!

tiffany ..hahahha!'s gravatar.


you should have stuck with me!!
im a fun girl
who you loooved.. oo lala, i remember sitting in that food place with you & you told me you loved me (note: you were really drunk) and all i could do was laugh at your silly drunkass.

that night i think we tried to get you to stay in your dorm, but you wouldnt. and i think andrew & jim or tyrel told me to offer my body to you to get you to stay.. but i didnt want to say that, cause sara & steph were standing there.. and hell, like that would have worked anyway!!! hahaha.

seriously, get over yourself & call me sometime.

Wednesday, 2005-12-07 @ 02:34am (996 days ago)

michael_halvorsenhttp://michaelhalvorsen.com

michael_halvorsen's gravatar.


holy shit tiffany. that truely made my night. i just got back from talking to her and all my other friends about what happened. my mind is clear and i know i am in the clear. and coming back and reading what you said, i couldn't help but laugh my ass off. thanks for that.

tyrel still has your number. i'm not sure which number of my "don't answer" yours is, but i will get it from him and i *might* just call you sometime. haha.

Wednesday, 2005-12-07 @ 05:55pm (995 days ago)

Aunt Munch

Aunt Munch's gravatar.


Michael, relationships hurt sometimes, but it teaches you what you really want in life and who you are. Billy says WOW! You guys are heavy and the last time a dude said he loved me was in jail, but turns out all he wanted was my cigarettes LOL You WILL find the right person, you will know that person is right beacuse you won't have to chase her...She will find you. P.S. Big Bubba quit smoking so BIlly says you both did the right thing.
LOVE YOU

Wednesday, 2005-12-07 @ 09:25pm (995 days ago)

radJaSoNhttp://spaces.msn.com/radjason

radJaSoN's gravatar.


hey man, I know what you are going through right now, and all your friends are right. all you need to worry about is yourself, and yourself alone. that girl that is the one will find you when you are least expecting it. take care...

radness

Thursday, 2005-12-08 @ 04:54pm (994 days ago)

owenhttp://www.owensoft.net

owen's gravatar.


alright here is what you do. take the post compile it. and make a song

Friday, 2005-12-09 @ 11:51pm (993 days ago)

tiffany

tiffany's gravatar.




yes you should call sometime. maybe i'd answer. i dont have you or tyrel in my phone anymore.. sad isnt it, i miss tyrel... he's a babe for sure. ..maybe just tell him to give me a call, if he doesnt have a lady.
hahha..

i am terribly sorry, this post has been closed to comments!

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